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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27314350">Close to You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedbookLover18/pseuds/EnchantedbookLover18'>EnchantedbookLover18</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fictober 2020 [31]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCIS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Day 31, F/M, Fictober 2020, Friendship/Love, Long-Distance Relationship, Song fic, prompt 31, semi-college AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:43:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27314350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedbookLover18/pseuds/EnchantedbookLover18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They’d started these regular phone calls two months after Nick had left for Los Angeles. Although he’d broken up with her, both still knew they loved each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ellie Bishop &amp; Nick Torres, Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres, Kensi Blye/Marty Deeks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fictober 2020 [31]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947187</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Close to You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Fictober 2020 #Prompt 31: "I trust you"<br/>-&gt; the song is "Close to You" by JORDY (listen to it!)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fictober is over and I wanna thank you all for reading &amp; commenting, supporting &amp; loving my fics💕💕 I love y'all!<br/>Happy Halloween🎃🍂and may November treat you nice!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>It’s that time of the month when I pick up the phone<br/>To give you a call<br/>Sometimes I would think it’d be better if you didn’t answer at all<br/>But you do<br/>So I ask about Boston and friends<br/>Feels like we’re in Allston at Union again<br/>That time of the month when I pick up the phone<br/>To give you a call</em>
</p>
<p>“Beep. This is Ellie. I can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message.” Nick sighed deeply. He was torn between sadness and disappointment, because she didn’t answer his call, and relief. As soon as he thought that, Nick mentally scolded himself. He shouldn’t be glad that Ellie didn’t talk to him…but a part of him felt like – <em>knew</em> – that it was better this way. And Nick would try getting in touch with her later anyway.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ellie,” he blinked away the tears in his eyes, and gulped. “I think it’s better this way. You’re going to college in Boston…And I’ll be in L.A. Soon I’ll be an agent – hopefully – and then I won’t have much time…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“So, you think ‘better ditch her now ‘cause I don’t have time or energy to deal with her anyway’.” She snarled back at him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, Ellie, no,” Nick pleaded in despair. “I just- You’re better off without me.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The blonde girl looked up at him. They’d been a couple for nearly three years now. Of course, a lot of people had told them that high school romances usually didn’t last long, but both always knew that they were different. After everything they’d been through – Nick’s dad leaving his family, Ellie’s mum getting cancer but thankfully in remission by the time they graduated…Both had always hoped that they were stronger, always believed they’d survive everything.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What does that even mean?” Ellie wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“My job will be dangerous, El. You deserve better than that…And…We’ll live so far apart. Do you really believe it would work?” Nick’s voice was low. He didn’t want to leave but something inside of him screamed that he had to do this for her. So she could live a happy life – peaceful and normal.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t know,” Ellie raised her hands up in the air. “I love you, Nick.” Her voice broke at these words, and Nick’s heart with it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you too, El. So so much,” he let out a breath of air. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt. But I don’t think a long-distance relationship will work…Especially with our future jobs.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ellie looked at him. The anger was now completely gone; the only thing that was left was sadness. And the fear of what would happen next now that Nick wasn’t going to be there with her. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She looked like she couldn’t fight the urge to touch him any longer, took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms around Nick’s body. He didn’t mind though, fully embracingher, his head resting above hers. Both needed to feel close to the other. One last time. </em>
</p>
<p>Two hours later, Nick got home from grocery shopping, placed the shopping bags on the kitchen counter and immediately picked up the phone. It ringed three times and then somebody picked up, “Hi. Who’s there?”</p>
<p>“Hey, El. It’s me – Nick.” He smiled although she couldn’t see it on the other end of the line. Sorry, I have a new number…”</p>
<p>“Oh, Nick. Hi!” Ellie replied, a smile evident in her voice. “How’re you doing?”</p>
<p>“Oh, good, I’m- good,” he chuckled nervously. “It’s been a while…”</p>
<p>“Yeah…” a longer pause followed. “I’m glad to hear your voice.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Me too,” the Latino went to the living room and sat down on his couch, the phone on his ear. This would be a longer call. “I’m glad we still do this once a month…”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” A rustling noise from Ellie’s end of the line interrupted them. Then she continued, “Sorry I couldn’t talk last month. I was on a mission but- you know, it’s classified.” There was a certain heaviness in her voice but he couldn’t quite figure out what caused it.</p>
<p>“No need to apologise,” Nick answered softly. “I’ve missed you.”</p>
<p>He could practically see the grin on her face when she said, “I missed you too. So, what’s new?”</p>
<p>Their call went on for another two hours. They’d started these regular phone calls two months after Nick had left for Los Angeles. Although he’d broken up with her, both still knew they loved each other. When the loneliness and missing each other got too much to bear, Nick just picked up the phone one day and called her. They’d done it every month for the past six years. Except for the few times one of them was on a mission or had another work-related non-movable event to attend.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>I wanna be close to you<br/>I know that it’s worth it<br/>But what am I supposed to do?<br/>‘Cause it feels like we’re either<br/>Too close or not close enough</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>That night Nick laid in bed, tossing and turning. It wasn’t unusual for him not to get much sleep on the day he talked to Ellie. Processing everything they told each other always had that effect on him. She’d talked about her new job at the NSA – after college in Boston, Ellie had moved to Washington D.C. – and her co-workers. Apparently, she’d already made some friends, a guy named Finn and another named Jake. Nick scoffed, were there only guys working at the NSA or what? He bit back the jealousy that threatened to overcome him whenever Ellie told him about a guy she’d met. Nick knew, of course, that she didn’t stay single after they’d broken up – for goodness sake, it’d been six years – still…He didn’t like feeling jealous. And he knew that he’d have to stay away from her. They were just friends now. Close friends who didn’t live close enough.</p>
<p>And yeah, maybe Nick had a hard time shaking the feeling of love and longing, the want to be close to her, every time they talked over the phone. But he had to swallow it. For her, and their friendship. They lived separate, too different lives now.</p>
<p>
  <em>I know that we ended it all, said, "goodbye"<br/>‘Cause I moved away<br/>We pushed away problems, ignored all our issues and I went to LA<br/>But<br/>Can<br/>We just agree it was stupid and dumb?<br/>‘Cause when you talk to me it’s like I’m still the one<br/>I know that we said that we ended it all<br/>‘Cause I moved away</em>
</p>
<p>The following morning, Nick made himself a huge cup of coffee and stared out into the garden, his thoughts running wild. He missed her like crazy. God, he spent most of his free time thinking of her. Deeks always made fun of him when he had that ‘distant’ look in his eyes, the what the other man called ‘I miss my ex-girlfriend but won’t admit it’ glare.</p>
<p>Nick sighed. He’d never regretted taking the job at NCIS L.A. or joining Hetty’s team. They were great, he’d learnt a lot and loved the team. They’d become a family by now. But sometimes the want to be with Ellie got too strong. It was like a pull.</p>
<p>On his way to the office, his phone dinged with a text. “I’m glad we talked. Say hi to Deeks and the others for me.” Nick smiled and replied to Ellie’s text instantly with “Will do. Our talks never fail to make me smile.”</p>
<p>And it was true. She never failed to make him smile. Ellie made him feel things he’d never felt with anyone else. And talking to her, listening to her rambles and stories, how she always included him as if he knew all the people she talked about, Ellie made him feel like he was the one. Nick knew that she definitely was the one for him. But he didn’t know if she had these feelings for him – if he still had the right to tell her after all this time. They never talked about their breakup, or their feelings now…Nick never told her that he regretted having broken up with her, that he realised now how stupid and dumb they’d been.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>I wanna be close to you<br/>I know that it’s worth it<br/>But what am I supposed to do?<br/>‘Cause it feels like we’re either<br/>Too close or not close enough</em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>Then we hang up and it feels like a breakup all over again<br/>And I want to tell you, so I write another text I’ll never send<br/>So I get up and go<br/>I move on with my day<br/>It was nice for a second like nothing has changed<br/>Then we hang up<br/>And it feels like a breakup all over again</em>
</p>
<p>Another month later, Nick had just told her about the prank Deeks and his girlfriend and co-worker Kensi had played him when Ellie got called away by her boss and abruptly hung up the phone. It always felt like a punch to the gut when their calls were over, especially when they ended abruptly. To him, it felt like breaking up all over again – although, obviously, they hadn’t been a couple for years. And sometimes Nick thought he could hear a sudden sadness and regret in the tone of Ellie’s voice too. But it was only there for a brief second.</p>
<p>It was one of these days in mid-October, two weeks after his last call with Ellie, when Nick found himself sitting at his desk next to Kensi’s, looking blankly at his phone, a half-written text staring back at him. Nick didn’t even know what he wanted to tell her, he was too afraid to tell her how he really felt, too afraid that it would ruin their friendship and end what they had for good.</p>
<p>“You’re doing it again, bro,” Deeks called over from his spot behind the laptop.</p>
<p>Nick’s head jerked up in a flash, confusion written all over his face. “Doing what again?”</p>
<p>“Tell her already,” the blonde man with his surfer looks just responded.</p>
<p>“Tell who what?” Kensi asked, walking closer towards them.</p>
<p>“Urgh,” Nick plainly groaned in response, resting his head on the desk.</p>
<p>“I told our boy Nicky here to tell <em>Ellie</em>,” Deeks emphasised her name, “how he feels about her.”</p>
<p>“Ohh,” recognition and understanding crossed over her face. “Yeah, my man’s right. Tell her already, Nick. It’s been what-? Five, six years? You talk every month, text all the time. I’ve never seen you smile more than when you’ve just talked to her. Ellie is the one, Nick. <em>Tell her.</em> Before it’s too late.”</p>
<p>Nick rolled his eyes and looked up again, a visible frown on his face. “Stop interfering in my love life – or non-existent love life, that is. I’m a grown man, I can handle it.”</p>
<p>“Of course, you can,” Deeks grinned mockingly. “But you’re not doing it very well.”</p>
<p>“Hate to say it,” Kensi smiled with tease. “But he’s right. Again.”</p>
<p>Nick stood up from his chair and stretched. Kensi and Deeks had helped him come to a realisation after all, and he knew what he had to do now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>🎃🎃🎃🍂🎃🎃🎃🍂🎃🎃🎃🍂🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde woman grabbed the coffee mug and keys on the kitchen counter and turned around to the front door. Her alarm hadn’t gone off this morning and now she was in a hurry to get to work.</p>
<p>When she opened the door to leave for her car, something on the other side made her come to a halt. Mouth agape, she couldn’t stop staring at the intruder.</p>
<p>“Ellie,” he breathed her name out like it was otherworldly.</p>
<p>Ellie simply stood there, staring at him. Then she whispered as if she couldn’t believe this was really happening, “Nick…what are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“Ellie,” Nick said again, “do you trust me?”</p>
<p>Still in shock and confused by his weird question, Ellie didn’t reply immediately. But once she did, it seemed like the easiest, most certain answer she could give. “<strong>I trust you.</strong>”</p>
<p>“Good,” Nick looked at her sheepishly, then he softly continued. “Because I love you. And I don’t wanna live without you.”</p>
<p>Ellie could feel silent tears rolling down her cheeks before she slowly whispered, still wondering if this was all a dream, “I love you too, Nick.”</p>
<p>
  
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